


Your Fragrance

by ladywongs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul:re
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Smut, Touken, settled weeks/months after the recent chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 01:47:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10821183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywongs/pseuds/ladywongs
Summary: "I'll have sex with you," Touka said.After being sent to a small mission to the 4th Ward, Kaneki and Touka share a private moment in where Kaneki's feelings will be finally put to test. Smut.





	Your Fragrance

 

**—o—**

 

 

 

“Okay, I got it.”

The coffee shop was submerged in a thick silence as Nishiki took a seat on the main couch, adjusting his glasses and holding a bunch of papers in his hands. His gaze was severe and intriguing, resting his eyes in every single member present in the shop, as if he was just about to tell a horror story around a campfire.

Kaneki, sitting in front of him, drank a sip of his coffee while resting one of his elbows on his knee, waiting for his verdict with impatience. Tsukiyama was behind him, crossing his arms over his chest and resting his back against the nearest wall, looking like an elegant knight protecting the rearguard of his king. Naki made his leg tremble with annoyance, controlled by the anxiety of the moment, sitting on a chair next to Miza. Ayato and Touka shared the last available couch, Ayato’s feet shamelessly resting on top of the coffee table with Touka sitting on the armrest.

Nishiki cleared his throat, reading his papers and adding a few more seconds of tension to the scene. Although the severity of the moment was undeniable, Nishiki loved to add a tiny pinch of suspense.

Kaneki left the cup on the table.

“Well then?” he asked, arching a brow. “Did you find something useful?

Nishiki handed him the papers and raised both hands to the sky, stretching his body like a lazy feline.

“4th Ward. A ghoul known as the Black Fox, it seems that he might have information about those black-clad children attacks.”

Kaneki held the papers as the murmur of his comrades started to grow.

“Huh? 4th Ward?” Naki complained.

Nishiki nodded.

“Yeah, but there’s a problem. It seems that the CCG already knows about this guy, so it will only be a matter of time before they find him.”

“And how is that this Black Fox knows about this information?” Tsukiyama wondered, arching a brow.

Nishiki slid his fingers through the bridge of his nose, adjusting his glasses.

“He’s the owner of a small shop hidden within the ward, the perfect place for simple customers to exchange information. That’s all I know, but we should hurry before the CCG does. Otherwise, we’re screwed.”

Kaneki sighed, nodding, giving him the papers.

“It’s a risky move,” Miza suggested, wise as it can be. “How do we know we can trust him?”

Ayato blurted out a deep sigh, he looked bored.

“This is a waste of time. If the doves already know about him then I doubt he’s still alive. I’m sure they already got him by now.”

“Still,” Nishiki replied. “It’s better if we confirm this before it’s too late. We could be losing a great opportunity.”

Kaneki sighed again, tousling his hair and trying to organize his messy ideas.

“Alright, I’ll make him a visit. But, where’s this shop at? I’m not very much familiar with the zone.”

Nishiki bent slightly, ready to answer, but Touka’s sudden voice paralyzed his words. Kaneki blinked, tilting his face to set his eyes on her, and he noticed that she was staring at him. In situations like these, Kaneki never used to actually expect Touka’s abrupt opinions, who would only listen in silence and accept every order Kaneki was willing to grant her. However, her sudden interruption forces the rest of his friends to land their eyes on her with apparent curiosity, wishing to know her opinion, and Kaneki can’t do anything but hold his breath.

Since their last conversation, holding his breath was the only thing he knew how to do well in front of her.

“I know that place,” she said calmly, almost looking a little bored. “It’s near Uta’s shop. I also know who the guy is, he used to come for coffee once in a while. I’ll take you there.”

Silence kept filling the empty spaces of the room and Kaneki knew why. It hadn’t been a suggestion, a useful tip or even a request… it sounded almost like an order. Touka Kirishima, manager of :re, giving orders to the very One-Eyed King. Naki looked at her, flabbergasted, his features frowning in pure stupefaction. However, Nishiki smiled slightly, nodding with optimism.

“Very well then,” he said. “Do something useful for once and take care of your king’s ass. You’ll leave within an hour, before nightfall.”

Nishiki left the couch, yawning and heading towards the main door, and—after a couple seconds of uncomfortable silence—the rest of the group knew the reunion had definitely concluded. Each member started to disperse around the shop with laziness, talking about their next moves, about the Black Fox and picking up the empty cups of coffee from the tables… but Kaneki’s eyes kept staring slyly at Touka, who stood up from the couch to walk towards the counter again.

Kaneki swore he saw a tiny smile crossing her lips as she walked away.

**—o—**

The sun slowly started to hide in Tokyo’s city, staining the streets with a warm orange shadow. Kaneki was lying against the main entrance, staring at his own feet with boredom and waiting impatiently for a Touka who, of course, was getting late. Minutes before ordering him to wait for her at the entrance as she went to change her clothes, she affirmed that she would be ready in less than five minutes. Kaneki raised his hand, checking the hour on his watch. Half an hour, it had been half an hour. He blurted out a thick sigh, flicking up his gaze to the sky, his body being submerged into an unmistakable feeling of deja vu.

Kaneki gasped when he felt the door crash abruptly against his back. He walked away quickly, alarmed, as Touka’s silhouette appeared magically through the door. She gave him a quick stare and turned around to close the door, securing a soft lock of hair behind her ear. She was wearing dark pants with a simple shirt and a green jacket on top, trying to find refuge from the cold breeze.

She turned over, not even bothering to offer an apology for being late.

“Let’s go,” she simply said.

Without any more preambles, Touka started to walk and Kaneki knew he had to follow her.

Adjusting the hood of his black hoodie on his head with the intention to hide his white hair and go unnoticed, Kaneki started to follow Touka under the chilly streets of Tokyo. The long trip was quiet and haunting, however, Kaneki couldn’t help but be surrounded by a huge wave of nostalgia. In just one simple blink, both had eighteen years old again. In just one blink of an eye, Touka was dragging a young and inexpert Kaneki through the same alleys way to Uta’s mask shop, breaking in into a world he had no idea about, willing to unravel it for him even against her will. He remembered the times when the old Yoshimura would but his pathetic life in Touka’s hands, destiny pulling them closer even against their will, but now things were different. This time, this was Touka’s fault. This time, Touka guided him controlled by her own desires.

And Kaneki couldn’t escape anymore. Maybe he didn’t even want to.

The cheerful and warm atmosphere of the city was slowly left behind as they sneaked into the dismal streets of the 4th Ward. The sun slowly said goodbye to the day and the shaky spark of broken lampposts was their only guide. Kaneki could spot cold stares hidden within the dark. A little kid peering at his presence through a window from the nearest building, or that man who was pretending to search for something inside his car’s trunk but that would secretly dwell his eyes on them, attentive to every single one of their movements. Fear and terror lived within every single citizen, ghouls and humans alike. No one was completely safe anymore.

“Over here,” Touka spoke in a hushed whisper, heading to a hidden stair inside a narrow alley.

Kaneki followed suit, climbing up the metal steps, their feet echoing between the silence of the night. They crossed a tiny bridge that led to a narrow street filled with broken trash cans. Kaneki couldn’t understand why a shop could be so far away and hidden within the reach of people, but maybe Nishiki was right, and the store was just a small excuse to receive costumes that would exchange valuable information, something like how Anteiku used to work in the past, but even more exclusive.

Touka delved into the last remaining alley from the street and both had to hold their breaths at noticing the entrance of the shop at the end of the alley. The welcome poster was completely shattered against the ground. The window’s glass was cracked and the door was half open. Kaneki and Touka shared a quick glance, and both went forward towards the store. Kaneki opened the door, pushing it to set aside a number of things lying on the ground. Touka entered first, peering around. The place was a huge mess. Containers and empty shelves around the floor, broken lamps and the counter filled with dust. This place had been this way for a while now.

“Uh, Black Fox?” Touka called out. “Are you here?”

Not a single soul whispered back.

Kaneki sighed.

“Ayato was right,” he said, giving a slow step. “The CCG was already here.”

Touka placed both hands on her hips, looking around with an ironic grin, not knowing exactly what to do next.

“Well… shit,” she shrugged. “I’ll look around and see what I can find. You too, search for a clue.”

Kaneki laughed a bit, kneeling to grab a small box of matches lying on the floor.

“Clue?” he said, his lips curving into a smile. “Are we detectives now?”

Touka ignored him.

“Shut up. Maybe he left a note or… I don’t know. I’ll look around.”

Touka started to walk way to the counter, getting lost in a half-opened door that would probably lead to the deposit. Kaneki sighed, walking in circles and staring at the empty shelves with a bored grin. There was literally no point in keep searching for anything at all, if the CCG had caught him there was literally nothing they could do about it.

Most of the shelves were empty, the commodity had probably been stolen after the CCG destroyed the place and took Black Fox. Kaneki found plenty of products scattered all over the ground and inside the few remaining shelves. Toothbrushes, surgical dressings and body lotions, moisturizer creams and perfumes, there was even a—

_Crack._

Kaneki stopped immediately, the sound of something breaking under his feet making him step back with a quick twitch of his shoulders. The sound had caught him completely off guard. Under the dim of the room, Kaneki stepped backward and spotted a tiny blue box crushed on the floor, probably under the influence of his clumsy feet.

He bent down, curiosity guiding his senses, and grabbed the little box, lifting it up to align it with the lightning coming from the street through the windows. His brows frowned, trying to read the words written at the front of the box.

 _Okamoto Original._  
Extra thin.   
Con—

Kaneki gasped, brows arching and eyes blinking at the title.

Co… co…

Condoms.

These were condoms.

He swallowed, hands trembling. C-Condoms? Did he just found condoms? Why… why he of all the people had to—

His startling thoughts were suddenly decreased when Touka’s voice and steps were getting closer and closer, threatening his weak heart to stop beating. He looked around, desperate for a miracle.

“So?” Touka asked, the sound of her footsteps increasing their intensity. Kaneki threw the box to the ground, turning around rapidly when he felt her stop behind him. “Did you find anything?”

He shook his head.

“N-No.”

But Touka wasn’t stupid. She looked at his hands, and then at the box lying a few centimeters away from his feet. She clearly saw the way he had thrown it to the floor, and she didn’t seem ready to ignore the small detail. Not when Kaneki’s face looked as red as blood.

With a suspicious gaze, Touka bent down towards the little box. No, no, no…

“T-Touka-chan, don’t—“

But it was too late. She held the box, getting up, and read the content as her brows slowly started to rise.

Now, more than ever, Kaneki wanted to die.

Touka sat his eyes on him, flabbergasted.

“Condoms?”

Kaneki gasped, eyes traveling to the small box in her hands and then back at Touka. He shook his head in denial, trying to find a proper excuse.

“I-I-I didn’t know they were c-ond—“

For some strange reason, Touka’s features looked slightly irritated. She crossed her arms, silencing his words, and frowned her brows, tilting her face to one side.

“You got a girlfriend I don’t know about?”

W-What?

“N-No! No… o-of course not…”

She arched a brow, still holding the box in her hand.

“Then why did you grabbed a box of condoms?”

_Banjou, save me._

_I beg you…_

“N-No, no… really, I would never…” Kaneki’s face was a poem, and Touka was enjoying his silly expression more than ever. Her irritated gaze vanished away, lips turning into an amused smile. “I would never have sex… I-I mean, it’s not that I don’t want — uh, I mean — it doesn’t mean that I had… I… it’s just… s-shit…”

The uncomfortable silence endured inside the store for more than a minute. Touka was looking at him almost surprised, her lips arching in a pretty smile. She didn’t look like she was making fun of him, which was Kaneki’s biggest fear. She blurted out a tiny sigh.

“You’re lovely,” she whispered to herself with a smile. Touka stared at him for long seconds, Kaneki’s cheeks burning at her unexpected comment. “It’s okay. I’ll have sex with you.”

That was even more unexpected.

No, no, no…

_Not again._

Kaneki’s eyes fell shut, avoiding her gaze and feeling his shoulders falter. Didn’t she have enough last time?

“W-Why…”

Touka giggled, and the sound of her laughter, unexpectedly, made his heart flutter.

Fuck.

“Are you really asking questions?” she asked, then sighed. “Kaneki, do you like me? Am I… attractive to you?”

Kaneki swallowed, staring at her presence. The faint spark of the lampposts outside the shop landed just on top of Touka, enlightening her silhouette like a fairy shimmering in the middle of the dark. Kaneki would be a big of a liar if he said that she didn’t look pretty, because she did. And it wasn’t due to the city lights raining on her skin or how pretty her hair looked that day, the intense black of her new hair dye slowly adapting to her skin. Touka always looked tremendously stunning. In every single moment. Everywhere. After a long day of work at the shop, with her weary eyes and her mussed hair. When she would fall asleep on the couch with her mouth wide-open, frowning and giving cute little snorts that would make Kaneki smile when no one was staring. She looked stunning when she was angry, when she would fight against the Zero Squad kids trying to defend her nasty food and her cheeks would dye a deep crimson blush. Kaneki wasn’t even capable of remembering, not even since the moment he met her, a day in where he didn’t think she looked stunning.

_Then I guess I’m more of an idiot for feeling happy at being looked at that way._

Even that day, despite his intense awkwardness, Kaneki thought she looked stunning.

Words weren’t needed. Kaneki didn’t need to say anything at all, his eyes gave the answer to everything Touka wanted to know. She got her reply by the way his lips parted—trying to whisper something, anything—and his eyes danced upon her face, not daring to look away despite his shame.

Of all the times Haise used to look at her, Touka never recalled being looked at this way by Kaneki before. Ever.

She smiled a bit, her heart throbbing furiously.

“I like you too,” she said, answering in his place. Kaneki blinked, awakening from his spell. “You see? It’s just a chemical reaction. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Kaneki’s eyes slowly looked at the way Touka placed the small box on the nearest shelve and followed by a shaky sigh, she turned her eyes back to him. Touka’s hands gently removed her green jacket, the fabric gradually revealing the bareness of her shoulders. She let it fall to the floor, not breaking the eye contact.

Touka gave one step, sluggish as the fall of a flower’s petal, and then another… and another… until she stopped in front of him and Kaneki couldn’t help but land his eyes on her lips. As she kept coming closer, her abyssal fragrance of coffee and something else engulfed what was left of his senses. Her delicate hands traveled to his hood, pushing it back to reveal the rest of his face and hair.

She took a minute, doubtful, and closed her eyes slowly. Kaneki looked at the way her eyelashes caressed her cheekbones, and how her lips were slowly parting, leaning onto him until they grazed his and Kaneki couldn’t find the proper way to keep breathing anymore.

The pressure of her lips stopped absolutely everything around him. Time, his memories, the frosted wind of the night, the day, the year, his heart, his breathing… the only thing Kaneki could perceive was the warm feeling of her mouth, the softness of her touch, her intense fragrance nuzzling his skin. Guided by an impulse, Kaneki’s eyelids also fell shut. He closed them firmly, focusing on the moment, and both gasped slightly when Touka broke the kiss for a minute, catching her breath. Kaneki opened his eyes, confused… why did she just…? Touka remained with her eyes closed, slow puffs coming out from her lips and before Kaneki could ask why the hell she had stopped, Touka kissed him again. This time, the kiss was different. Touka parted her mouth, taking his lower lip between hers and sucking sweetly. But everything changed when he felt her tongue caressing his, the warm and wet touch sending shivers down his spine, forcing him to blurt out a sheepish moan of impatience. The taste of coffee was even deeper this time, and Kaneki found himself wishing for more.

It wasn’t Touka the one kissing Kaneki anymore. The roles were inverted, and this time it was him the one who would tilt his face to one side to wallow in the taste of her tongue, taking sighs out of her. It was his lips the ones taking hers, pulling them closer, the steadiness of his kiss forcing her to lean her neck backward, trying to mold her mouth to his sharp height. During an instant, Kaneki thought it was cute the fact that she was so tiny beside him. Touka broke the kiss briefly, lips wanting to smile at the way Kaneki seemed to refuse to break the kiss, leaning into her mouth to not lose the contact.

To know that he also wanted her… to know that this wasn’t just something she desired…

Touka rested the palm of her hands against his chest, forcing him to step back just for a bit. Both gasped for air, and Touka flicked up her gaze. She wasn’t smiling like minutes ago… Kaneki could perceive a different type of inquietude within her eyes.

“You’re not the only one who’s lonely,” she whispered, her breath caressing his lips, eyes scrutinizing his with a special spark.

The sudden pain that comment caused him... it just lasted a second. Touka gave one step back, eyes not abandoning his. Kaneki was about to ask something, he couldn’t remember what exactly… but when her hands traveled to the edges of her shirt, Kaneki understood everything completely.

Oh.

_Oh._

Shit.

_Fuck…_

As Touka grabbed the edges of her shirt, slowly raising and sliding the fabric up her torso, her eyes never left his. Kaneki would have wanted to be a little bit more romantic and admit that he also never broke the visual contact but, to be honest, he did. His anxious eyes traveled immediately to her bare belly as the shirt ascended bit by bit, unraveling more of her body. The skin of her tummy looked soft and flat, and Kaneki held a thick cough when the shirt reached her shoulders and his eyes got a perfect view of her breasts, hidden under a black bra. Kaneki swallowed, holding his shaky breath and asking heaven if this was real or just a dream. He looked at the way Touka pulled out the cloth above her head, hair falling around her shoulders, making her look even prettier than before. The blush on Kaneki’s cheeks was uncontrollable and he didn’t even bother to hide it anymore. Touka let the shirt fall to the floor, almost unsure, hands rapidly traveling to her hair trying to poorly brush it off, trying to look even a little bit prettier in front of his eyes. Maybe Kaneki wouldn’t like it enough, maybe he thought she was acting and looking like a fool, but the tiny smile sparkling in the corner of his lips granted her the courage to keep on going.

Kaneki took a small pause to look at her.

There, under the light of the lamps, her skin glistened like golden liquid. His eyes explored every hidden corner of her body. Her chest, dancing at the pace of her gentle breathing. The way that her lips blurted out tiny puffs, ephemeral stares landing on his face, attentive to each one of his movements at feeling so exposed in front of him. The delicate shape of her collarbone, the curve of her breasts, her flat stomach… every part of her body was calling him between whispers, voices inside his head that didn’t sound disturbing nor scary. Kaneki wanted to raise his fingertips and trace them on her neck, her shoulders… and just when he was about to do so, filling his lungs with courage, Touka guided her hands to her back and Kaneki winked, tense as a rock.

He heard a little click, and the strong pressure of her bra against her breasts slowly faded away.

Did she…

Did she just…

Kaneki stared at her face, blushing like a child, while Touka slowly started to slide the straps of her bra down her shoulders, without breaking the eye contact. She slipped the bra through her elbows, her chest completely exposed, and she let the bra fell to the floor. Kaneki’s eyes looked away almost immediately, coughing, trying to get his shit together.

“W-Wow,” he stammered, coughing again.

Then, he frowned.

_Wow?_

Was that the only good thing he had to say? Wow?

_Idiot, jerk, stupid son of a…_

Touka smiled kindly at him, staring at his awkward grins and feeling her own cheeks dying in red.

“Kaneki,” she called out in a whisper, soft as the kiss of a flower, her heart throbbing crazily at the realization that Kaneki found her pretty. Even like this. “You can look, you know.”

He held a sigh, and Touka’s fingers traveled to his chin, forcing him to look at her.

“It’s okay,” she said, leaning to press a kiss on his lips, encouraging him to take the initiative too.

Kaneki kissed her back for a few seconds, butterflies tugging at his tummy just by such a simple touch. All his awkwardness seemed to fade away every time Touka kissed him. She broke the kiss for a moment, sighing and closing her eyes, resting their foreheads together. Slowly, Kaneki raised his hand, fingers stroking gently the skin of her arm. The touch made her take a deep breath, and Kaneki took advantage of her weakness to look at her.

His hand went up through her arm as a powerful distraction, while his eyes got lost in the curve of her collarbone, and down… and down… where the touch of her breasts grazed his chest above his navel. There was something profoundly disarming about seeing Touka naked. A vulnerability that Kaneki had never seen in her before. He dwelled in the curves of her breasts, the way they rose and fell with each one of her breaths, the delicate skin of her perked nipples, the way her shoulders shrugged slightly when Kaneki’s hands ascended more, and more, until his fingers sank into her hair and Touka bit her lower lip, sighing.

Every single one of her movements was breathtaking.

Kaneki leaned his mouth towards her and captured her lips in a searing kiss. His hand traveled to her nape, molding her mouth to his own as her hands curled around his neck, pulling him closer.

They slowly walked backward, not really knowing exactly where they were heading. Little by little they bent to the ground, Kaneki firmly holding her waist so she wouldn’t fall. It wasn’t the most comfortable place or the most appropriate one, but it was the only one they had. Touka gasped when the skin of her back made contact with the cold floor, both trying to find the proper position until Touka let out a sudden shriek of pain.

“A-Ah!”

Kaneki broke the kiss, both hands holding the weight of his body on each side of her head, terrified eyes looking at her. D-Did he did something wrong? Did he…?

Touka made an uncomfortable grin, her free hand traveling to her back as if she was searching for something in her skin. Kaneki frowned, not quite understanding, until Touka pulled the hand out of her back holding a toothbrush between her fingers. Both stared at the uncomfortable plastic object that had interposed between Touka’s back and the floor for long seconds, words leaving them empty, until Touka laughed.

She closed her eyes, body trembling underneath his own with cute little giggles that sent vibrations all over his skin. Kaneki smiled, gasping, and laughed with her. The situation was stupid and weird, and maybe they were just realizing it now. They continued laughing while Touka threw the brush away and Kaneki took a deep breath, resting his forehead against her chest, trying to control his chuckles. He sighed, and then felt Touka’s hands caressing his hair. Kaneki’s eyes fell shut at the feeling, and the scene wasn’t amusing anymore, both slowly succumbing to an inexperienced desire once again. Kaneki could feel her heartbeats through her chest, the way these would increase their intensity when Kaneki decided to press a small kiss against her skin, intensifying the grip of Touka’s fingers in his hair. He planted a kiss on top of her heart and, taking courage, his mouth traveled a wet path towards her left nipple, the hot breath crashing against her skin sending shivers down her spine, followed by a deep sigh. Touka bit her lip, staring at the dark ceiling and wondering if this was actually, actually happening.

Her fingers sank deeply into Kaneki’s hair when she felt his lips sucking at her nipple, demanding her to close her eyelids at the feeling of his tongue sucking her skin, back arching and shoulders shivering. Kaneki’s hands, still clothed with his thick gloves, wandered slowly towards her waist to keep her in place, lips slowly descending through her chest way down her tummy, making her skin tremble with a gentle twitch. His warm breath, the wetness of his tongue, his inexperienced teeth that slowly scraped her skin with each kiss… it was way more intense than anything she could’ve ever imagined. Kaneki turned away slightly, and Touka opened her eyes to look at him. His hands traveled to his hoodie to pull it off through his head. Touka sat on the floor, mouths joining again as she helped him get rid of his hoodie and white shirt, hands traveling through his naked torso, his strong muscles caressing the softness of her fingers.

Kaneki was not a boy anymore.

He had become a man.

The thought of it awakened a deep hunger inside of her.

Kaneki forced her to lean back against the soil. His lips again traveled through her belly until he stopped at the beginning of her pant’s waistband. His hands grabbed the buttons, trying to unbutton it, but this wouldn’t open. Kaneki didn’t know if it was due to his clumsiness, his gloves or the ridiculous quiver of his hands, but the damn button didn’t seem to cooperate at all. Kaneki sighed, making a grin, face burning with shame.

“T-Touka… this… this won’t—“

Kaneki heard her laughter making echoes in the empty store. She kept giggling, leading her hands to the button of her trousers and tossing Kaneki’s fingers aside to do it herself. She did it in a blink of an eye, and Kaneki felt like an idiot, his hands were still shaking.

“S-Sorry, I’m an idiot.”

Touka helped him get rid of her uncomfortable jean, tossing it aside, and Kaneki had to hold his breath at the image of her legs weekly open, exposing her underwear.

Kaneki could feel his erection grow painfully inside his pants.

She smiled softly at the haunting look in his eyes. Touka raised one leg, her right foot traveling to poke his nose with her fingers, giggling when he made a grin and tried to dodge her foot, capturing her toe within his hands to stop her, chuckling.

“Stop it.”

She laughed again, and Kaneki’s smile slowly faded away at the stunning view that Touka granted him in that precise moment. Her eyes shimmering, smiling mischievously with her short hair spreading in all directions and both arms resting on each side of her head… her perked little nipples, hard and ready for him, the soft sway of her belly, the curve of her leg resting against his hand, the wet gloss on her lips, the intense fragrance coming out from her legs…

Kaneki knew that, no matter what could happen afterward, this would be the image of her that Kaneki would keep in his memory forever. Naked, lying before him, the light of the lamps brightening her skin with a tender smile, offering him every last piece of her shattered self.

He outlined the skin of her ankle with his lips, still grabbing her feet. He traveled his lips throughout the whole extension of her leg, noticing that the playful gaze in Touka’s eyes was gone. She wasn’t smiling anymore, her chest rose and fell firmly, closing her eyes occasionally.

He kissed her inner tights, sliding his tongue through the delicate skin, making Touka’s hips jolt briefly trying to increase the contact.

“K-Kaneki…”

Even if Kaneki had read scenarios like this countless times before in his favorite books, reality always ended up being a little bit different. His hands sank underneath her tights, caressing the soft skin of her rear. The touch of his fingers made her raise her hips again with impatience, blurting out a tiny moan of frustration.

“K-Kaneki,” she gasped, removing the hair out of her forehead. “Come on…”

With shaky hands, Kaneki got rid of her underwear and took a deep, deep breath.

Okay.

Good.

You can do this, Kaneki.

Come on.

You got this.

You totally got this.

Touka let out an annoyed gasp.

“Kaneki, hurry u-ahh…”

Touka moaned loudly at the sudden intrusion of his tongue. She gasped, covering her lips with her fingers, feeling his tongue digging in the deepest places. The sensation was entirely new, wet and warm… Touka frowned, body burning, looking down to find Kaneki holding one of her legs and positioning it over his shoulder, trying to get a better access. Touka gasped when she felt his lips sucking on her clit, leaving it needy and traveling to her slit, increasing her frustration.

“O-Oh God…”

Where the hell did he learn to do this stuff?

She sighed, eyes falling shut again, and she traveled her fingers towards her center to spread herself for him, granting him a better angle. Kaneki gasped at the sight of Touka’s fingers spreading her lips. His mouth reached down towards her clit again, sucking it firmly this time. Touka cried out, head falling backward, and he suddenly felt Touka’s hands falling against his head, tugging at his hair, trying to find something to hold on to.

Touka started to move her hips at the pace of his mouth, creating a friction that made them both moan. Touka had no idea how Kaneki knew to do all this… but it felt amazing. His tongue moved in all directions, spreading the right amount of wetness to keep her aroused. His lips would occasionally suck at her clit and his hands would hold her hips to keep her still.

Her body started to shiver, and Kaneki knew she was close, or at least that’s what he thought. He slowly sank his tongue inside of her, dragging one of his fingers to her clit to rub it slowly, tongue increasing speed making her hips twitch furiously against the soil.

“Kahh… ahh… yes… yes…”

Touka blurted out a delicious moan and her body started to shudder, not being able to hold back. She bucked her hips to heighten the friction, gasping out obscenities that made him giggle during brief moments, however, his lips kept on sucking at her clit a couple times more, trying to prolong her orgasm until her body slowly started to relax. Kaneki turned away, bringing her leg off his shoulder. His lips caressed her belly, still squirming occasionally.

Touka was keeping an arm over her eyes, covering half of her face, gasping and trying to recover. Kaneki held the weight of his body with his arms placed on each side of her head, staring at her with a sheepish smile, proud of what he just did.

“Touka-chan…” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

Kaneki pulled her arm out of her face to see her better. Her cheeks were burning and her eyes were closed, she looked like she was about to pass out. He chuckled a bit, brushing her hair.

“Touka.”

She sighed, opening her eyes. Her heart twitched at the sight. Kaneki, shirtless, hair looking like a mess and smiling kindly at her. She raised her hand, sinking her fingers into his hair, tousling it softly.

“That was…” she sighed, still trying to catch her breath. “That…”

He laughed, extremely embarrassed and, taking advantage of his awkwardness, she leaned to kiss him. She licked his lower lip, and then traveled towards his neck, slowly nipping at his jaw. Kaneki gasped, and her hand gently traveled down his stomach reaching out for his waistband, fingers tracing the huge bulge between his legs.

“I wanna touch you too,” she whispered in his ear.

Kaneki moaned slightly, hiding his face in Touka’s neck, a cute attempt to hide his embarrassment. Touka unzipped his pants way faster than he ever could have, and her small hand infiltrated underneath his underwear, finding his cock and caressing the tip with her fingers. Kaneki closed his eyes, gasping furiously. Touka gave his length a long, arduous pump, making him hiss and buck his hips in response, moaning against her neck.

“T-Touka-chan…”

She increased the movements of her hand, her tongue traveling to his earlobe. Kaneki’s hips started to move against her hand, trying to find some relief… when was the last time he felt this good before? He gasped, trying to control himself.

“Touka, w-wait.”

She stopped, looking at him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her free hand caressing the curve of his lips, his gasps crashing against her fingertips.

“I need… w-we need…” Kaneki took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that Touka’s hand was still holding his shaft. “The — the c-condoms.”

Touka wanted to laugh, remembering the small incident minutes ago. She nodded, removing her hand, and Kaneki got up on his knees to search for the box of condoms in the middle of a chaos of different products scattered all over the floor. It took him a generous amount of time to find it in the dark, and Touka giggled in silence. She raised her leg, pocking at his butt and he staggered, losing his balance.

“If you keep doing that…”

Touka chuckled again.

“Hurry up, idiot.”

Once Kaneki found the box, he took one condom from inside and sighed, suddenly feeling extremely nervous again. He came back to her, taking off his pants and Touka pulled him towards her body to kiss him again. Kaneki placed the condom aside, feeling Touka’s hands getting lost in his hair and holding his back, trying to bring him as close as possible. Kaneki gasped against her mouth, the smell of coffee overwhelming his senses. He slid a hand through her hair, brushing her bangs, then she felt Touka’s hands touch his.

“Take off your gloves,” she whispered in his mouth.

Touka tried to take them off, but Kaneki stopped her. He grabbed her wrist, breaking the kiss, staring at her with fear dancing in the back of his eyes.

“D-Don't.”

Touka stood silent for a minute, staring at Kaneki’s hand grabbing her wrist.

“Why not?”

Kaneki slowly vanished the firm grip on her wrist, letting her go. He bent down his head, avoiding her gaze.

Everything in him was so pathetic.

“It’s… it’s ugly.”

Touka’s eyes burned slightly and raised her hand to cup his cheek, but Kaneki turned his face away, resting his forehead against her shoulder with a deep sigh, hiding his shame. Touka enveloped her arms around his neck, tilting her face to the side to whisper in his ear.

“It’s not.”

“Yes it is,” he insisted, lips pressed against the skin of her shoulder.

Touka took his face in her hands, forcing him to raise up his head.

“Kaneki, look at me,” she pleaded, pulling his face close enough to make him rest his forehead against hers. “It’s okay, I don’t care.”

Kaneki closed his eyes, frowning, and Touka’s lips caressed his cheek, his forehead, his temple, his mouth…

“I don’t care in the slightest, Kaneki,” she muttered, stroking his hair.

Kaneki couldn’t even remember the last time someone treated him this way, accepting him for what he was instead of trying to change him into something different. He couldn’t remember the last time someone touched, kissed him, or whispered his name the way Touka did right now.

For the very first time in years… Kaneki didn’t feel empty.

Touka took his hands and slowly started to remove his gloves, exposing fingers and palms that in the eyes of another woman would have looked like the hands of a monster. But Touka wasn’t just another woman, and her eyes had seen worse. His hands were just hands. The hands of Kaneki. Nothing more.

He looked at the way she gently entwined her fingers with his own, not even caring about the texture of his skin, the color of his flesh, nothing seemed to bother her. He held his breath when Touka guided his hand towards her lips, kissing it softly, and during an instant Kaneki felt like he was about to cry.

“Kaneki,” muttered, way too low, but Kaneki heard her. His heart throbbed furiously. She looked at him, still holding his hand. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

There was a certain insecurity trapped within her eyes, a certain fear that he might refuse, retracting his actions now that both have come so far, now that she finally was able to hold him in her arms like she always wanted. Kaneki sighed, returning the sweet grip on her fingers, and leaned to kiss her cheekbone, nodding slowly.

“Yes, Touka-chan.”

After all this, he was more than sure.

Kaneki took the condom and after a couple seconds, he managed to put it on. He kissed her one more time, allowing Touka’s legs to find a place around his hips, holding her hands firmly against his back with way too much need, a need that provoked him to feel a tiny grief on his chest. Even if both were skin to skin, Touka seemed to not have enough, trying to pull him even closer if that was possible, desperate to fill an emptiness, afraid that if she didn’t hold onto him strongly enough, he would suddenly disappear.

_Again._

He didn’t know why, but Kaneki stopped, the impulse of his words dancing at the tip of his lips. He looked at her, brushing the hair out of her face.

“You know,” he said, and Touka looked back. “When I used to look at you back then… I did it because I thought you were beautiful. I still think you’re beautiful. Always.”

Touka stared at him in silence, eyes shimmering, and little by little her lips curved into a small and sad smile. Her fingers traced the lines of his forehead, his cheek, his nose, his lips… Kaneki closed his eyes.

“I think you’re beautiful too.”

His heart stopped beating.

He felt her lips caress his closed eyelids.

“Now shut up, and stop making me wait,” she complained, making him smile. “I’ve waited long enough already.”

With a deep sigh, Kaneki positioned himself at her entrance. He stared at her for a moment, asking for her permission, but she just nodded with closed eyes. She gasped when Kaneki pushed part of him inside of her, little by little, adding pressure to his hips. He rested his forehead against hers, gazing at the way she frowned, biting her lip.

“Touka…”

“I’m fine,” she assured, hands sinking into his hair. “Just… keep going.”

He pushed himself into her again, slowly, a moan coming out from her lips and Kaneki proclaiming one of his own seconds after, her tight walls sucking him back in. He gasped, skin burning more than ever, while he stopped the movements of his hips for a moment to let their bodies get used to the new sensation. Kaneki moved his lips towards her neck, trying to distract her from the pain, tongue traveling towards her chest, making her moan when he took her nipple to his lips once again. Touka moved her hips upwards, encouraging him to continue, and Kaneki moved his in response, both moaning at the feeling.

G-God…

This was… this felt so…

Kaneki gasped, placing both hands on each side of her head to balance his weight, feeling Touka’s arms firmly clasping her legs around his hips, her hands grabbing his butt driving him deeper inside of her. Kaneki lost all of his senses, whining against her ear, feeling that they were slowly leaving the pain behind to welcome an uncontrollable pleasure.

Touka rolled her hips again, creating a friction that provoked in them a high pitched cry.

“O-Oh… God…”

She arched her back, gasping, and Kaneki held her waist to keep her in that position. He raised her hips, trying to find a more stable rhythm, kneeling to increase the speed of their movements. Touka opened her eyes, moaning, looking at the way Kaneki closed his eyes with parted lips and frowned brows, focusing on his pleasure as she brought down a hand to feel him, fingers meeting his sweltering skin, caressing the side of his jaw, tracing his collarbone, the pants of his lips… he was perfect.

“K-Kaneki… ahh… f-faster.”

He bent down again to kiss her, hips conceding her pleas and then it was him the one crying out her name, lips trembling against her chest.

“T-Touka-chan.”

Feeling herself getting closer, she licked her fingers to rub her clit, moaning at the feeling of Kaneki’s teeth nipping at her jaw.

“T-Touka, I’m… I’m c—“

She nodded, holding onto his back.

“Do it,” she whispered, moaning his name. “D-Do it…”

After a few more thrusts, Touka came first. She cried out her moans against his neck, body trembling furiously as Kaneki’s hips kept on thrusting over and over again, trying to prolong her orgasm as much as possible.

“A-Ahh… T-Touka…”

Kaneki gasped, coming too, slowly stopping the movements of his hips and resting his forehead against her chest, the heat of her skin burning everything inside him. Touka opened her eyes, looking at the ceiling, and after a few seconds she started to laugh. Her chest jolted, trying to control her tired giggles, and Kaneki slowly slid himself out of her to fall by her side on his back, both staring at the ceiling and trying to catch their breaths. They stood that way, in silence, trying to process the situation until Touka turned around to look at him, holding the weight of her body against her elbow, resting her head on her hand.

Kaneki was still trying to find the proper way to breathe. Touka spotted a tiny smile on his lips, and the gesture made her smile wider.

“All this time… and that’s what I’ve been missing?” she asked, staring at him. Kaneki flickered, not quite understanding what she meant. He turned his face to her, curiosity dancing in his eyes, and Touka smiled brightly. “Let’s do it again.”

Touka rolled over until her body was on top of him, mouth traveling to his lips with a mischievous grin.

Kaneki gasped, overwhelmed.

“W-Wait, Touka-chan!”

**—o—**

The floor was cold and sharp against her skin, but the warmth coming out from Kaneki’s body by her side was powerful enough to keep her safe. Under the silence of the room, Touka could hear Kaneki’s heartbeats throbbing with the same intensity as the first time. She smiled.

Her jacket and Kaneki’s hoodie were resting on top of their bodies, poorly trying to imitate a blanket to protect them from the cold. Her head rested against Kaneki’s arm, serving as a pillow, and she could feel his fingers tracing small patterns underneath her ear, brushing small locks of hair behind her nape. Both were exhausted—Touka’s fault, according to Kaneki—and Touka regretted not having a bed or even a small couch to lay down on. But, even still, for Touka the moment felt perfect.

More than she could have ever dreamed of.

“Touka,” Kaneki suddenly spoke. She looked at him, curious after long minutes of silence. “Can I ask you a question?”

She remained silent, waiting.

Kaneki lowered his gaze.

“What you said… when you kissed me,” he said, slowly tasting the words in his tongue. “Is that how you really feel?”

_You’re no the only one who’s lonely._

Touka didn’t look away.

“Do you?”

He didn’t answer, and Touka smiled with bitterness, ushering her gaze again to the empty ceiling.

“I think that… somehow, we’re pretty similar, Kaneki,” she whispered, her smile slowly fading away. “We both have people in our lives that love and care about us. But, even still, I can’t help but feel lonely sometimes. Maybe I’m just afraid that, sooner or later, people will leave me, and then I know that I will feel lonely again.”

Kaneki frowned, completely shocked by her words.

“Touka-chan…”

“When I met you,” she began. “I used to feel lonely most of the time. Ayato wasn’t there, I just had Anteiku. But, when I met you… many things changed. Hinami came to us, also Nishiki, even shitty Tsukiyama. Suddenly Anteiku became bigger. You did that, I guess. And I thought that for the very first time in a long time I had a home. But, when you left… I was afraid that the rest would do the same. And then Anteiku disappeared… and I…”

She made a pause, trying to control the sound of her voice. She tilted her face, confronting his gaze. During an instant, Touka’s eyes stopped his heart.

“That’s the reason for why :re, exists. It’s a home. I knew that you were out there, somewhere… alone, just like me. Like all of us. I know you would need a place to return to, and you did. Even without your memories, you came back. And then everyone else did. And now we’re all together again, and I’m suddenly scared.”

Kaneki raised his hand, sliding his fingers through her jaw, staring at her open lips.

“I didn’t know you felt this way.”

She smiled softly.

“You’re not the only one who feels like this,” she replied. “And you don’t have to bear it all on your own. You have many people who love you, not for being a king or whatever the hell you are now. But for being you.”

If it wasn’t thanks to the darkness of the room, Touka would have sworn that she saw tears in Kaneki’s eyes. They stood in silence for a long time, Kaneki absently playing with her fingers, not caring about his gloves anymore, when Touka took off her hand and turned around to get a better view of his face. She rested her weight against her elbow.

“Can I make you a question now?”

Kaneki looked at her, smiling a bit.

“As long as you don’t ask me if I’m still a virgin…”

But Touka didn’t laugh at his comment. She frowned, tilting her face to one side with extreme curiosity.

“That thing you did…” she started. “With your tongue…”

Kaneki coughed, face dying red as he sat up, terribly embarrassed.

“T-Touka-chan, what—“

“How did you learn that?” she insisted, sitting up to match his height.

“Uhh, I-I think we s-should get back now, it’s a bit lat—“

“No, I’m, being serious,” she disrupted. “It was impressive. I wanna learn too.”

Kaneki was about to cry out for Banjou’s help.

Again.

“Touk—“

“Why don’t you keep showing me your special moves?”

_“T-Touka-chan!”_

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was heavily inspired by Glenn and Maggie's first sex scene from The Walking Dead.
> 
> Imagine that Mutsuki appearing in the last chapter never happened, lolol.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated :')


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